I am coming clean...

My name is Kimberly Tucker Kutnick. And, on February 8, 2021, I had bariatric (gastric bypass) surgery. 

I am coming clean. 

It's been over a year, and I am ready. 

I have written and re-written this so many times because I wasn't sure I was going to post this. Or, how I was going to tee it up (that sounds so corporate America of me). But, a friend once told me that my superpower is writing. So, here I go.

First, I want to clear myths. Bariatric surgery is not only for people with morbid obesity. More people who are not morbidly obese have the surgery vs. those who are morbidly obese. My BMI was "obese", but I was not categorized as morbidly obese. 

Secondly, this is not the easy way out. This is not a "solution". This is a tool. This is one of the most challenging things I have ever endured. When you hear the expression "It takes a village"...for bariatric it certainly does...I have a team that consists of a surgeon, psychiatrist, therapist, dietician, bariatric support group, and a private Northwestern Bariatric Facebook group. 

Third, I am not really able to "enjoy" food in the way I used to. Too much sugar or fat will make me sick. I can’t drink anything at least 45 minutes before I eat a meal…or I throw up. That one is a big bummer.

Fourth, it's been very lonely not being able to talk about this with most. I am typically an open book, so this has gone against my innate nature. It's been a solo journey despite my inner circle and my family who I love dearly. It's like anything...unless you have been through it, it's very hard to understand it. 

 

Fifth, I made the decision to have bariatric for health reasons. I had severe sleep apnea, high blood pressure, and was plagued with constant reflux. It was not for vanity. I, personally, wouldn't have gone through something like this for vanity. I am not saying that people shouldn't. I just made my decision based on health. 

Sixth, bariatric surgery should not be something that is frowned upon. I actually am surprised that more people with health issues don't take the leap. 

Seventh, if you read this and want to talk feel free to reach out. But, please don't be tacky or judgemental. 

Eight, part of me is scared to post this.

Ninth. Part of me is glad I am finally posting this. 

Tenth. Thanks for reading this. 

I thought about writing two different versions with one that ends here and one that goes into great detail. I decided that I will end here. Less is sometimes more. 

As I conclude this I feel a sense of calm and relief. No more hiding. I am grateful to those who have kept this confidential for so long. I would do the same if it were reversed. 

With all of the throwing up, hair loss (it's growing back!), exhaustion, the physical isolation of a pandemic, depression (since I lost a lot of weight my meds got screwy)...I would do it again. After 20 years of a battle with weight, which then manifested into some significant health issues... I do not have regrets.