17 Years Ago Today

I was listing to a podcast yesterday (Death Sex & Money). It was their 1 year anniversary episode and part of it was dedicated to capturing peoples' answers to the below question:

"What has changed in your life in the past year?"

And, I listened to what people had to say. Some fell in love. Some got married. Some got divorced. Some lost someone special. Some had babies. Some moved. Some were happier than a year ago. Some were now more depressed. But, regardless-nothing stayed exactly the same. 365 days is a significant amount of time to reflect back.

And, then this morning when I looked at my husband and realized that it is June 12th....I started thinking about myself. Not where I was 1 year ago...but where I was 17 years ago. June 12, 1998.

On Friday, June 12th, 1998 my then boyfriend...now husband proposed. Looking out at Lake Michigan. Dinner at Spiaggia later that evening. It was magical. I remember it so very clearly. That was 17 years ago. Today.

So much has changed in 17 years.

I have more scars. Physically. Emotionally. No matter how great life is for anyone-you can't possibly live on this earth without somehow adding the markings of life under your belt. For me I have a lot of physical scars. Weight gain and loss mostly over the past 2 decades. Two C-sections. A few surgeries. Let's just say that I am grateful that we don't walk around naked in this world. Because I wouldn't be able to hide the physical scars that I carry.

And, just like you, the person reading this,.... I also have a lot of emotional scars. Everyone does. I will spare you all the details.

Since June 12, 1998 I've moved 3 times. Twice in Chicago and then made the suburban trek. I have worked at 6 different companies. I've traveled internationally and domestically countries and cities, and I re-visited places I had already experienced. I had babies. I became a mom. I have watched my friends navigate through their lives too. Collecting their physical and emotional scars too.

I can't imagine what life will feel like in 17 years. When I do the math I realize that I will have a 28 year old and a 26 year old. I will not be getting my kids ready for camp. I won't be driving them here and there. They won't need me in the same way, but I hope they need me in some way (not just for money!). I know that life will feel different, but I just don't know what that means quite yet. But, I do know one thing -just like 17 years ago I wasn't ready to be in 2015-I am not close to being ready for 2032!



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