The Sucker Punch of Antisemitism
We hear about the bad stuff. Pittsburgh, Paris, England and the KKK. We watch it on the news. We read about it on Twitter. We see the posts on Facebook. It's real and it's happening all around us. But, yesterday, for the first time in my 45 1/2 years I was personally victimized by pure hatred and antisemitism.
To say I was shocked would be a complete understatement. To say I was beyond words in the moment would be the truth. I have never experienced such direct, personal malice as a Jew-until yesterday.
Here's what happened.
I was looking for someone to help clean my house. And, in the process a friend of mine from college recommended a nice woman who could help with laundry and other household tasks. While I would love to say I am the best homemaker in the world, that wouldn't be true. I am busy. I need help in the home.
The woman she referred me to didn't speak clear English. And, her husband is the person you contact to coordinate estimates. When we first spoke (the husband), I had said that ideally I would like someone to come twice a week. And, that we would pay $XX/day. Two days a week at $XX is what we pay for someone to come all day once a week. He INSISTED that she only take one day a week at $XXX. So, after going back and forth and talking to the person who refereed her and my husband I offered $XXX for one day. This was $40 less than the two days added up but less total hours since that's how he quoted their fee. I didn't hear back.
I was supposed to meet them during lunchtime on Friday because I am remote. But, because of the Polar Vortex I went into the office. And, I texted the husband to let him know that I wasn't available but would like to reschedule this weekend or next Friday. And, this is what he said, "... My wife won't work for cheap people and you can tell that to your husband. If you clean yourself then you will save the whole $XXX. Insert Jewish Star Emoji-about right".
At first I didn't catch the Jewish Star picture. My friend who referred the woman did. Complete and utter disbelief. I am/was ENRAGED. I wrote him a text that I didn't send realizing that 1) I didn't want to sink to his disgusting level 2) he had my address because we were supposed to meet.
I can't stop thinking about it. I was personally victimized by this person. While I know that some people really, really do have deep hatred for Jews, I felt the reality travel right through my gut, as if I was physically sucker punched. Then, my friend fired his wife (my friend is also Jewish) and he wrote a scathing antisemitic text to her....here is what he said, "I told her (meaning me) exactly what they are- cheap Jews. And, that's what they are. That applies also to the majority. While it's offensive to somebody it is also the truth....Being cheap means paying less than the service provided. And that's what I have seen in every Jewish family also in Indian families. My wife has a fantastic degree. And, she was offended by your friend who lives in a million dollar house (PLEASE NOTE I DO NOT LIVE IN A MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE!).....Sorry for the straightforwardness, we were raised that way."
Feel free to read this again. I have read it 20-30 times and I still can't believe that this REALLY happened. But, then again I realize that this world is a mean place. And, people are raised with parental influences who teach their children the lack of tolerance of others. Not only did he offend the Jewish people...he also offended the Indian culture.
What I didn't show above was him talking about how hard he works, 60 hours a week. And, he has work ethic. And, I just want to scream at him...."My friend (the friend who referred his wife) is a doctor. I work full-time and run a side business. So fuck you asshole." But, instead I am channeling my energy here. If you want names and background please feel free to email me at kimberlykutnick@gmail.com.
I have written 40-50 blog posts over the past 2-3 years, and I haven't published them. It's like my diary. But, this? This needed to be published. My word of the year is Gratitude. I am grateful that I saw this man's true colors before I allowed him into my home. I am grateful that my friend stood by me and fired his wife. I am grateful to have this outlet to share. And, I am grateful to be a Jew.
With gratitude,
Kim
To say I was shocked would be a complete understatement. To say I was beyond words in the moment would be the truth. I have never experienced such direct, personal malice as a Jew-until yesterday.
Here's what happened.
I was looking for someone to help clean my house. And, in the process a friend of mine from college recommended a nice woman who could help with laundry and other household tasks. While I would love to say I am the best homemaker in the world, that wouldn't be true. I am busy. I need help in the home.
The woman she referred me to didn't speak clear English. And, her husband is the person you contact to coordinate estimates. When we first spoke (the husband), I had said that ideally I would like someone to come twice a week. And, that we would pay $XX/day. Two days a week at $XX is what we pay for someone to come all day once a week. He INSISTED that she only take one day a week at $XXX. So, after going back and forth and talking to the person who refereed her and my husband I offered $XXX for one day. This was $40 less than the two days added up but less total hours since that's how he quoted their fee. I didn't hear back.
I was supposed to meet them during lunchtime on Friday because I am remote. But, because of the Polar Vortex I went into the office. And, I texted the husband to let him know that I wasn't available but would like to reschedule this weekend or next Friday. And, this is what he said, "... My wife won't work for cheap people and you can tell that to your husband. If you clean yourself then you will save the whole $XXX. Insert Jewish Star Emoji-about right".
At first I didn't catch the Jewish Star picture. My friend who referred the woman did. Complete and utter disbelief. I am/was ENRAGED. I wrote him a text that I didn't send realizing that 1) I didn't want to sink to his disgusting level 2) he had my address because we were supposed to meet.
I can't stop thinking about it. I was personally victimized by this person. While I know that some people really, really do have deep hatred for Jews, I felt the reality travel right through my gut, as if I was physically sucker punched. Then, my friend fired his wife (my friend is also Jewish) and he wrote a scathing antisemitic text to her....here is what he said, "I told her (meaning me) exactly what they are- cheap Jews. And, that's what they are. That applies also to the majority. While it's offensive to somebody it is also the truth....Being cheap means paying less than the service provided. And that's what I have seen in every Jewish family also in Indian families. My wife has a fantastic degree. And, she was offended by your friend who lives in a million dollar house (PLEASE NOTE I DO NOT LIVE IN A MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE!).....Sorry for the straightforwardness, we were raised that way."
Feel free to read this again. I have read it 20-30 times and I still can't believe that this REALLY happened. But, then again I realize that this world is a mean place. And, people are raised with parental influences who teach their children the lack of tolerance of others. Not only did he offend the Jewish people...he also offended the Indian culture.
What I didn't show above was him talking about how hard he works, 60 hours a week. And, he has work ethic. And, I just want to scream at him...."My friend (the friend who referred his wife) is a doctor. I work full-time and run a side business. So fuck you asshole." But, instead I am channeling my energy here. If you want names and background please feel free to email me at kimberlykutnick@gmail.com.
I have written 40-50 blog posts over the past 2-3 years, and I haven't published them. It's like my diary. But, this? This needed to be published. My word of the year is Gratitude. I am grateful that I saw this man's true colors before I allowed him into my home. I am grateful that my friend stood by me and fired his wife. I am grateful to have this outlet to share. And, I am grateful to be a Jew.
With gratitude,
Kim
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