Will they remember this feeling?

I always find myself extremely introspective when life change happens. Today I found myself thinking a lot about my past and the present because school starts tomorrow. Summer is over. Not the season but the vacation away from school life. Schedules happen. Bedtimes matter. Homework begins.

In these moments I think about my own personal experiences in grade school as I watch my kids move up the #s each year. This year actually marks the first time in 9 years that school is essentially free (aside from property taxes aka suburban tuition, school supplies, lunch and a small registration fee), and it also marks a time where both of my kids are in an official numbered "grade", 4th and 1st.

I remember every one of my teachers K-6. I remember feeling like a big kid on my first day of kindergarten. I also had a lot of reflection today when I thought about 1st and 4th grade because I had the same teacher, Mrs. Ermilio, for both. Mrs. Ermilio was a demanding teacher, but she was my favorite teacher. Three years ago, I found her on Facebook the day my son started 1st grade. I wrote her a long letter about how influential she was, and how excited I was to see her on Facebook. We are now Facebook friends. And, she refers to herself as Bonnie. Not Mrs. Ermilio. I keep trying to put myself in my kids' shoes to remember and to feel how those grades felt. I remember 1st grade was more demanding. I remember 2nd grade made me nervous. Thank you Mrs. Brantley. I remember that in 3rd grade Mrs. Goodwin we made ice cream when we learned all of our times tables. And, I remember in 4th grade we learned a lot about famous artists. In 5th grade I had Mr. Kee. He was a fun teacher. It was the first time I had a male teacher. And, then there was 6th grade. Mrs. Brown. Not my favorite, but I obviously survived her because here I am reflecting on elementary school.

Part of me wishes I could go back. Relive it. Feel those feelings as I am experiencing them. And, part of me doesn't want to feel the insecurities of a 10 year old girl who got her period in 5th grade. That spring my daily goal was to successfully hide my tampons in the inside of my Members Only jacket so that nobody would find them. 29 years later, I can feel that feeling right now as I write about it.
                                          
When my kids leave for school tomorrow I will sit at my desk and think to myself how am I 39? How do I have a 4th grader and a 1st grader? And, how will they feel in their day? Will they remember this feeling? And, I can't wait to hear all about it when they get home.




Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 22, 2012 at 4:09 AM

    These are the memories that make a life. And your kids will remember, especially if you keep talking to them. Enjoy your "first" day.

    ReplyDelete

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